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Results:
You selected in the questionnaire:
• I’m not sure if I have ever had an orgasm
This statement indicates the possibility that you may not be experiencing sexual difficulty of any kind. Many women who report difficulty in reaching orgasm have in fact been able to orgasm but have not recognised the experience as an orgasm. There are many reasons for this:
- When men reach climax and ejaculate it is clear that ejaculation has occurred – women have no such outward tell tale sign.
- In all areas of sexuality pornography usually paints a very unrealistic image of what orgasm should look like. These images wrongly teach women that l orgasms should be intense, long and loud when in fact, for many women this is not the case. Women may still reach orgasm frequently but it may be of a lower intensity which may lead the woman to think it has not occurred. .
- • Consider your sexual experiences and carefully assess if you may be experiencing orgasm , to a lower intensity that what you have previously expected.
If after closer investigation you feel that you are not able to
reach orgasm, the following may provide some food for thought on
what might be driving the issue:
- Pelvic floor exercises strengthen pelvic floor muscles and are believed to improve sexual functioning. If doing exercises regularly option results should be expected within 3 – 6 months.
- Do you have a reasonable understanding of your own body and its sexual needs? If not, experimenting with masturbation may be helpful. It’s the easiest way to discover what your body requires in order to reach orgasm. You will be able to discover the amount of pressure you require, the speed, length of time or sense of touch required.
- Check if you will then be able to communicate these needs to your partner.
- If you can achieve orgasm through masturbation this will also indicate that there is not physical issue driving the problem and will also help the body become accustomed to reaching orgasm.
- If your belief is that masturbation is not open to you, you may benefit from seeing a Sex Therapist who can assist both you and your partner with some home strategies to work through.
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Can you identify any issues with your current relationship / current partner that may be impacting on your sexuality?
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If you believe you have never experienced an orgasm consulting your GP may be helpful to determine if there are any genetic / physical factors driving the issue. -
What are your general thoughts about intercourse? Are there any feelings of shame or guilt? -
Have you experienced any previous sexual trauma? -
During intercourse do you feel any embarrassment, inhibition or anxiety? -
Do you feel like you may have difficulty with desire to have sex or difficulty getting aroused? The issue may be better treated as issues with sexual desire or arousal. -
Does it feel too hard work to orgasm during intercourse? -
Do you concentrate on trying to relax through intercourse? Tensing the physical body may be more helpful. -
Would you and your partner benefit from more education about sex
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When you are engaging in sex with your partner, note what thoughts are going through your mind at the time. Are you focusing on other things rather than on the sexual moment?
Once you have established the
answers to these questions, it is likely you have uncovered the driver and / or
what’s maintaining the issue. You will then need to address this in order to
establish healthy sexual functioning.
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